Witches, Wizards, Doctors and Dealings
by Kurachu
Summary: Okay, this is from a range of books and pokemon, just to add more confusion. Characters are explained. A story about villians' coming together to rid the world of annoying characters. Based on opinion, fine if you dont agree. R&R please. Dedicated to Toby


**Witches, Wizards, Doctors and Dealings**

**Plus Problems and the Purple Pokémon**

**For Toby**

**Characters/ disclaimers (in this chapter)**

**Dragwena- The Doomspell Trilogy, Cliff Mcnish **

**Larpendskya- Doomspell Trilogy**

**Rachel- Ditto**

**Pikachu- Pokemon**

**Mewtwo- Pokemon**

**Dr Cable- Uglies Trilogy, Scott Westerfeld**

**Chapter 1**

It was a bleak morning and the sun was barely visible in the sky. Dragwena sat in her eye tower overlooking her kingdom with a joyous savageness at the suffering of the planet. Plants struggled to survive and animals and the former children of Earth scrounged for the best life they could possibly have, which in most cases was not much. It was how the witch liked it. The ever-lasting cold and darkness.

She sat at the breakfast table she had conjured every morning since she had been imprisoned on Ithrea, eating Coco Pops. Between mouthfuls, she lovingly examined her large claws. A glass of orange lay untouched on the side, and her soul-snake kept twisting his head to look at it. Olvin (copyright, me; I don't think the name of her soul-snake is never mentioned, but I am happy to be corrected) loved orange juice.

Dragwena, who had been ignoring her snake's frantic attempts to get at the glass, sighed and pushed it towards her snake idly, with one glossy talon and Olvin pounced on it, burying his head in the glass.

At that moment, there was an almighty thud. Dragwena, looking around wildly, located the noise at her green, eye shaped window. Looking towards it, she saw a giant silver bird splattered against the glass, slowly sliding down the tower.

This was followed by a scream.

"Larpendskya! NOOOOO!"

Looking down Dragwena saw Rachel, sobbing over the overgrown bird.

Dragwena tutted. "It's not like he's going to die. Anyway, he could do with a good brain injury; it might stop the pacifist meditation rubbish."

Rachel let out a howling war cry and leapt up the stairs towards the eye tower entrance.

As she raced up the steps, a small yellow mouse like creature shot bolts of lightening towards her, knocking her down a flight of stairs. It was Pikachu, coming to Dragwena, to deliver a message from his mummy, Dr Cable.

Pikachu scampered up the steps, let himself in the eye tower, and gave Dragwena an invitation for tea with Dr Cable and Mewtwo. She gave him an new bear and some chocolate for being so nice and electrifying Rachel for her. Pikachu giggled and scampered off. On the way, out of Ithrea, Pikachu spotted the bird- shaped Larpendskya sprawled comically in the snow. For luck, the pokemon hit the wizard with his iron tail attack and continued his journey home.

Dragwena put the invitation down and settled back to eat her Coco Pops.

An unconscious Rachel was slowly jerking down the black steps to the entrance of the eye tower. After a moment, she awoke drowsily and then shuddered awake as she hit her head on a step. It took her a few seconds to realize where she was and what she was doing. Then she leapt up and screamed.

"THAT RODENT CREATURE! AND DRAGWENA!!!!"

And raced towards the entrance of the tower.

Dragwena heard the colossal boom before Rachel smashed into the eye tower, raging like a starved bear.

"YOU! You hurt the wizard!"

Dragwena scoffed, "No, idiot, he hurt himself. It's not my fault he's so thick that he can't see a luminous green window in a world of black, white and grey."

Rachel pounced on her.

Olvin, irritated that this screaming foolish girl was ruining his time with his orange juice, slithered in Rachel's way and threw the glass at her via his fangs.

Dragwena giggled and made Rachel smaller, the consequence meaning that in mid- pounce Rachel shrank, shrieking and landed in Olvin's glass.

Dragwena studied the tiny child in the glass and grinned.

"We can leave her there and decide how best to make her behave later."

With that announcement, Dragwena sat back down and finished her Coco Pops.

**********

It was a week after the Larpendskya-bird disaster and as usual, the sun of Ithrea was shining weakly. The inhabitants of Ithrea were either reminiscing on their miserable lives or mindlessly doing the bidding of Dragwena. The witch herself was getting ready to go to tea.

She had forced her palace servants to make cakes and chocolates to give to Dr Cable and Mewtwo, and then forced them to make more, for herself later. After that she had made them make dozens of batches of chocolate brownies for Pikachu, and then a dozen more for herself. Olvin had drunk his way through 15 litres of orange juice that week, because the witch was in such a good mood. She had even let Larpendskya off with only a few gnawing death spells rather than her usual multiple doomspells.

It wasn't as fun, but she had felt generous and the spells still ate his wings off.

Rachel was still in her glass, sulking, because Dragwena had not had the time or patience to think of a suitable punishment for her. The consequence of this lapse of usual wickedness was that the Sarren were terrified that their precious little child- hope was dead, which was also fun to watch.

So Dragwena left Ithrea that night, wishing misfortune on all of the residents of the planet.

Pikachu was waiting for her on the island, performing his favorite role as tour guide, even though Dragwena knew the area well. Still, she let him instruct her to Mewtwo's fortress, listening attentively as he pointed out landmarks along the way. Of course, it was in Pikachu speak, but Dragwena's magic could translate just about any creature's language, except for some reason, mermaids.

"This is the river where Mewtwo was reborn and this is the rock where Ash splattered onto and this, here, is Dr Cable's favorite tree and this is the remains of Mewtwo's stadium where his clones fought the other pokemon and I was made, very important, as you can see, and this… this is home!"

Dragwena sighed and the mouse's ears fell.

"You don't like my tour?" The Pikachu gave her a tragic look.

"Of course I do, but I have heard the same tour 17 times now."

The pokemon's ears twitched.

"Okay… maybe I should do role plays next time." He mimed Ash sprawled against the rock.

Dragwena laughed. "Maybe you should."

And they went inside.

Dr Cable had made them a nice tea of cucumber sandwiches, pineapple and cheese sticks, quiche and pork pie, followed by cakes and cups of tea. Mewtwo whined mercilessly, because they were no Jelly Tots. During tea they talked of life and people and reminisced places they had all gone together.

It was during their fourth cup of tea and various cakes when Dragwena tolled them of the Larpendskya issue.

Mewtwo laughed softly, and Pikachu giggled and swished his tail, but Dr Cable remained thoughtfully quiet.

"Hmm… You don't want him on your hands, but it does mean that the shield around the planet lessens whilst he is there. It was how Pikachu could slip into Ithrea so easily. Still… this Rachel child is annoyingly obsessive. You should get rid of her."

A small pause followed this statement.

Then Mewtwo nodded, his (fluffy) tail twitching.

"Yes," Dr Cable confirmed, taking purpose from Mewtwo's affirmation. "You should."


End file.
